Reality Curbs Idealism for Preteens

Dreamers

In a time when the Internet prevails and social media tells all, how soon do we step up with a dose of reality and teach our kid’s street smarts? Youth lack life experience, and it’s easy for them to romanticize  life. DO WE SCARE  THE BEGEBBIES  out of them – warning them about predator’s lurking around? Do we hammer home that not everyone is a good person to be trusted? How we present an awareness that doesn’t bust their faith in humanity…is a fine line.

My son, Byron personified zestful optimism….the idealism of youth. He felt compassion for everyone he met, and held strong convictions about the suffering in the world and his duty to help.  In kindergarten he was the kid who comforted and held a bleeding classmate’s head who fell off the jungle gym. Or shared the goodies in his lunch, or stood up for a weaker kid.

Sensitivity to others is an attribute, nevertheless, it sets up a potential dynamic to trust the wrong people. Kids can be conned, by experts that spend a lifetime cultivating seductive qualities.

When Byron was about 10-years-old, I left him in a restaurant at the mall for  less than five minutes to pick up a package  next-door. I returned to see a man sitting in the booth, squeezing closer to Byron. I felt a cold gripping chill…  Having directed 911 calls for the Burbank Police Dept. I knew the drill. Speak loudly so everyone can hear, “What are you doing sitting closely to my son. Who are you?” I commanded loudly.  All eyes were on him, as he leaped up and scurried out the restaurant.  Byron was shocked, “Mom, he was a nice man.”  The man was apprehended a short time later by security, who had him under surveillance, for some time.

I was unsettled that Byron didn’t pick up the behavior. We had those discussions… I even had wondered if maybe I told him too many things too soon…the usual watch out for strangers, and tell me if anyone speaks or touches you in a way that doesn’t feel OK.

Nonsense prepare your kids.

Information given that could protect a child in harm’s way is vital. It’s better to set off an awareness red-signal alarm – than wait for street-smarts to kick in. This doesn’t mean micro-managing or becoming exasperated in worry – it’s beneficial to realistically discuss solutions, or even role-playing a potential dangerous situation.

Yes, you will know when to provide awareness, and a tad of street smarts. In the meantime keeping the communication line open is important. Kids today hear about things very quickly, and how it is presented helps alleviate confusion and fear. Many of us experienced abuse… and were silenced. May we provide the space and safety net for our children to speak out…no matter what the circumstance.

Merrie Lynn Ross’  Peace Smarts”The Bully Project ” 2012 Spring release.

www.merrieway.com